WHY I LEFT THE FANDOM

Hello there everyone, it's been such a long time hasn't it?

Gosh, I miss blogging, the excitement I would feel when there's something new to share like songs, PVs, idol news etc. I would just what to blurt them out all at once! It's kinda sad really how that feeling faded overtime.

Now, I don't even know what to write. I don't even know how anymore. But guys, here is the reason why I no longer post, no longer share download links and the reason why I left the fandom.

I guess if you follow my blog from its humble beginning back in 2011, I started off blogging about random topics, mostly Johnny's news, kawaii stuffs and daily blogs about my life. Then in 2012, the highest peak of the blog, the rate of readers boomed! because I started to share download links, videos, songs, lyrics etc. things that people want and especially in the Johnny's world, these things were difficult to find back then. So I was one of them who scoured all over the internet just to give easy access to my fellow Johnny's fans, particularly Hey! Say! JUMP's Tobikkos.

2012 was the this blog's shining moment! I expanded to Tumblr and Livejournal. I shared pictures, gifs and fanfics. I joined HSJJUMPFacts, a group of JUMP fans who update other Tobikkos on JUMP's news and of course facts. I was one of the admins. I was Admin B.

I kept going throughout 2013 and 2014. And the fandom got competitive.
So I reached out to other sources, non-English sources namely Weibo, Tudou, YinYueTai, Yoku, Soku etc. and other Chinese websites who until know are known to be very well updated with JUMP's singles and albums few days before the release date.
I remember spending the whole afternoon just to search for any JUMP materials. Tabs after tabs. Google translate on one side. I felt amazing at that time. I felt like a detective, cracking codes, looking for clues in an foreign territory and solving mysteries. I believed myself to be one of the top Hey! Say! JUMP providers at that time. I was proud. I didn't care and didn't acknowledge what I was doing was wrong.

But in 2014, eventually things must come to an end. At least gradually in my case.
As I grew busy and grew tired of the routine. I didn't share as much as I used to.
Yes, I found another alternative way of providing downloads...but it was also this feelings deep inside that gave me a sour taste in my mouth.
The fandom got even more competitive! And some had the advantage of speaking and understanding Japanese. They would most likely get the news first hand!

Around 2014 was also the year I furthered my studies abroad. To where? well none other than the UK. A country to strict with its copyright and piracy polices. It got hard for me. And that feeling grew.
I continued sharing, low-key, but I started to hesitate so if you notice I started to add "buy and support them" on the post and give a link to CDJapan. But this didn't help me much.

I got scared and on edge.
Until, I stopped.

You see, I finally realized just how wrong I was to despise  the copyright and piracy rules! and It was so ironic of me to say how much I supported JUMP when all I do was helping other fellow Tobikkos to rob their hard earn money from them. I felt bad and hated myself for doing something low-key illegal. Even if millions of people do it!
This feeling drove me away from the fandom. I didn't want to surround myself with negative feelings and the fact that I couldn't share anything anymore makes me feel like I have to purpose anymore in the fandom. I felt like I am no one if don't share anything.
This was too much for me. and I eventually just dropped everything.

I couldn't share what I used to share anything. But that didn't mean I was not a Tobikko.
At least I thought so.
2014 and 2015 were rough years for me. And got tired of keeping myself updated with Johnny's news. It got boring and repetitive. They even got scandalous over the years! They looked like they were no longer the idols I used to know. It ruined the image in my head a bit.
I did try though. To gain back that idol heart feeling. It didn't stay long. It never did.

So in conclusion, maybe it is safe to say that I have left the fandom. Sure I watch some of their videos, hear some news, listen to some songs and like their pictures and all...but not as who I once was.
However, this blog is a proof that I once was a contributer to the fandom. I am glad that I could help my fellow Tobikkos during those times. Make you happy, make you smile and fuel your Tobikko hearts with the wonders of Hey! Say! JUMP.
And I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your support up until now. Love ya Tobikkos! Keep on supporting Hey! Say! JUMP.


(p.s. this blog will have a fresh new start. No more download links. But old posts will still be here)

Thank you!